Don't call it a comeback, I been here for years

The Blur

Prime Directive: Not just slow the game down, but bring it to a standstill. (If possible, reverse the flow of time.)
Profession: Intergalactic Troublemaker.

Team I Command: A.C. Milan
First took the field: 1996

Why did I start playing? To impress a girl who liked MST3K and the Talking Heads song Once in a Lifetime, and frequently wore torn jeans.

How I take my Coffee: Like my Gumbo - with cream and two sugars.

Battle cry: BRING IT!!!

Trash Talk: Blaaaaw, how ya like me now?!

Skills: Sketchy at best.