"Macho Man" defeats the Rapture, and all sinners are winners ... so let's get our subbuteo on!

Though just a month after Easter, it again comes time to observe the sacrificial passing of another legendary savior, and all-around bad-ass: “Macho Man” Randy Savage. For, as you may not know, it was “Macho Man” who gave up his life so that he could piledrive the impending Rapture, elbow-drop that squatting dude on the Judgment Day billboards, and save humanity from the apocalypse. And so, to honor and commemorate his valorous sacrifice, we, the 1^st and 4^th Subbuteo Club shall conduct a memorial subbuteo tournament dedicated to “Macho Man.”

What better way to mark both the Memorial Day weekend and the greatest non-event since Y2K? Oh, and by the way, did I mention that the championship purse of the Inaugural “Macho Man” Randy Savage Memorial Memorial Day Weekend Subbuteo Tournament will of course be an immense bucket of Slim Jims to be split between the winning teammates? Oh yes, it shall be—and it shall be the saltiest, meatiest victory yet.

So, if you think you’ve got what it takes to pummel the opposition like Macho Man did in the ring (and in Heaven, as the above artist’s rendering depicts), then get your team’s little plastic asses to Millersville this weekend for a scintillating subbuteo showdown. Bring your game, your skillz, and try your damnedest, for Randy’s sake, to “Snap into a Slim Jim!!”

Oooooh yeeeeaaah!

—T-Dexxx