Der Tyrant's Corner... June '11

Time to weigh in on the coming carnage. As usual, I predict that I will stand triumphant, holding aloft the soon to be unveiled 4^th of July Tournament trophy, also known as The _______. Ha! You thought you could trick me into giving that surprise away but I’m far too crafty for that nonsense. Der Tyrant is a master of subterfuge.

There’s been a lot of talk about how some of our members train and practice, as if such things mattered for the mastery of Subbuteo. The Jedi of this sport know that very little of what happens on the pitch takes place between the finger and the ball. Subbuteo is an intellectual pursuit of the highest order. That’s why I have spent the last month abstaining from all things Subbuteo and have planned my “no move” defense to the nth degree. In fact, I’m so confident in my ability to dominate the game, that I’m almost willing to bring my “no move” offense to America’s Sorrow as well. However, since it is widely known that were I to show up with my Bayern Munich team and play the fourteen minutes of each game not touching a single one of my players, I would so crush the opposing teams that my competitors would never recover and I would be crowned the 1^st & 4^th Club Champion for Life Ad Infinitum.

So, I’m going to make it easy on all of you, who make this game so difficult, what with your flicking of players and dodging around the table. From this point on, I will be known as Der Tyrant, 1^st & 4^th Club Champion for Life Ad Infinitum. Of course, you can still refer to me as Der Tyrant, as protocol dictates, but I will handicap myself (don’t tell Pop-pop) and will play this and all coming tournaments with my black holy hands. Feel free to be in awe of my skilz, I know I am.

As for any other predictions:

Will The Thrill Davies is threatening to attend this year’s event. We all know that Will lives in Ohio, so be prepared to swap signed jerseys and Subbuteo balls for gifts, cash and tattoos. That said, I had a dream in which The Fates told me, “No goals, no saves for The Thrill”. I fear he will leave crying.

As for The Blur, only time will tell if that shank of the One True Cross that jabbed into his leg a year ago will gave him super powers or will just cause him to limp up and down the pitch. If he can stay healthy and get on Dutch’s or Fire Wrist’s team, he could be a threat.

The rest of the rabble should play up to the usual level of our organization and I will accept nothing less than greatness or, at least serious showmanship, in that God awful hot garage in M’Ville in four days hence.

And as Dirty Nacho is wont to say, “You suck!”

Der Tyrant.